Help Support Jackson's Law  - "They Can't Speak So We Have To Be Their Voice"

Five Pounds
 
It takes just a seed for a garden to grow. It takes just a smile to develop a friendship. And as I learned just a year ago, it takes just one dog to change your life…

I remember when we met and it was love at first sight. My sister was having a yard sale and I came over to her house to help and hopefully unload some way too small jeans and bad shirt choices. Her daughter in law had just gotten a puppy for the grand kids and she had him there when I arrived. I don’t think I had ever seen something so tiny…he was so small he had to be in a ferret harness..instead of a collar…I picked him up, held him, and when he peed on my hand I knew it was true love. Uncharacteristically for me, I begged to have him..I wasn’t normally one to plead but there was something about the little guy….

As luck would have it, my sister ended up with him after all and one day when I was at her house helping to paint, I found out she was taking care of him until they could figure out a plan…with three dogs already, a small Morkie was still too much for them to handle… I asked if he could come out and keep me company while I painted the front door and when I looked down and he looked up simultaneously , I realized I had found my dog, and he had found his person.

I brought him home for Christmas and suddenly the house became a home and the people became a family.

We were worried about how Bijoux would react but we soon realized that SHE realized she outweighed him by 16 lbs so the pecking order was quickly established.
Big brown eyes, long silver and grey white hair and a smile, he became the symbol of everything that was good in the world, because at the end of the day, he was so good. I had never seen a dog that was so happy all of the time..every time we came home, his separation anxiety was profoundly apparent as he ran from one to the other jumping , tail wagging, panting ..and if he could speak we just knew he was saying, “where have you been guys, I missed you!!!!” .

A change came over me…I can’t pin point for you when it actually happened..it was as subtle as a warm summer breeze..but all of my focus was on him, my needs didn’t matter so much…I bathed him every week, made sure after 4 tries that we found the perfect food for him, walked him in no makeup, my hair pulled up in a clip and my rain coat over my bathrobe, and anyone that knows me knows I don’t go walking, much less out in the cold or the rain for anybody..but for him I would have done anything. I held him like a baby in my arms, smiled when I felt his tiny but warm body sneak under the covers to spoon with me in bed and every day was filled with the joy of knowing the universe smiled upon me and gave me the most amazing gift of all….someone to love who loved me unconditionally.

Then of course there were the clothes. He knew how to get dressed and man could he wear it well. The only time he balked was when I made the error of trying to dress him in a Tweed coat that had a Chanel twist. I guess I really wanted it for myself…still he looked good in it even for a few seconds before he pleaded with me with those eyes to take it off.

If you read the last blog I wrote, he taught me to “go left” one of the biggest lessons I have ever learned, and he taught me that chasing a chew toy could be immensely fun, the air through your hair as you took an evening walk was a precious commodity and that tail wagging was a must.

 In short, he taught me the most valuable lesson of all, that it was ok to be me, because with him…I was my most goofiest self…I loved with all of my heart and kept hoping for years and years to show him how much he was cherished…he was the child I never had, the friend that never let me down, and the love that was so true.
He was Jackson, he was my dog, he was my best friend.

- Kim Thore April, 2011
 
 
14 Inches, 7 days, 30 mins.
 
I have never been great at math, not naturally anyway…I was always in the advanced classes and it always annoyed the hell out of me that I actually had to put effort into making an A ..so it seems kind of funny that most of my adulthood has been spent dealing with numbers. I’ve been a Vice President with a Bank,  a Six Sigma Process Improvement Expert and a Marketer  but it wasn’t until this week that I realized how much one number could change your life.

You have by now probably seen or heard about Jackson, the wonder morkie , the love, the best friend.

For seven days I have cried, so much so that I think I have discovered a new diet..water weight my ass, apparently you can shed a few inches by shedding a lot of tears. I haven’t slept through the night and eating is only what I do so I can have some energy to focus on my goal of getting Jackson’s Law passed. Who knew I might become so involved in Politics? Although I must admit I can crank a tweed suit when needed.

Grieving is never easy, but this, THIS has been profound. In so many ways.
I have awakened thinking I hear Jackson jingling down the hallway it’s always at 3:20 am, we kind of overtagged the poor guy, thinking that if he ever got away from us, three dog tags would be waaaay better than one to ensure his safe return home…every time I awake I have to remind myself that he won’t be in his doggie bed looking up at me, when I come home I still look down when I open the door thinking he will be there with his silly grin saying hi mom and dancing on his hind legs to show off for a walkie. ..and as I was laying on the couch the other night the space behind my legs that used to be filled by Jackson was ginormous…who knew that something that was so tiny filled 1100 square feet completely?

I tried to do the math, but none of the equations I knew worked. Our condo is filled with furniture, paintings, shoes, hats, cds, and yet…it is completely empty.  I then realized that maybe Sir Isaac Newton was right when he wrote Newton's postulate that “an invisible force was able to act over vast distances”..I can’t see Jackson physically but his gravitational attraction is palpable.

When I went into Jackson’s facebook page it finally all made sense, thanks Zuckerberg for that…bad hair, great social network concept. There were 50+ friend requests and as many messages from all over the country…people I didn’t know ..who were expressing their condolences, telling me what they had been through, offering support for Jackson’s Law, asking me to please keep his page up in his memory..I answered every email, accepted every friend request and as the tears streamed down my face the math equation I had been searching for to make any of this make sense finally came to me.
                        Jackson + Life= Love x People/Jackson= More Love
Jackson was 5lbs, 8 inches tall and 14 inches long (including his puffy tail) and yet he embodied all that was good, kind, loving and happy in that tiny package. I never knew that all it would take was 30 minutes for him to be taken away, but I also never knew the impact he had on people’s lives daily. I thought Jon and I were the only crazy people to be so much in love with him..not so…an elderly neighbor whom I saw every now and then emailed me that she used to get joy by watching Jackson prance by her window because she couldn’t get around like he could and it seemed that through his skinny little legs she could run and explore too.
Poor Jackson probably suffered from night blindness b/c I was constantly taking his picture, at last count I had 109, but someone I barely know on FB told me how much she was going to miss seeing his pictures as they brightened her day.
A beautiful woman I didn’t know sent me an email that said:
“We don't know one another, Kim, but I heard about what happened today from my guy. We were both so devastated by the news. Honestly, I haven't a clue what you must be going through, it is so unspeakably horrific, but I wanted you to know how many people are thinking of you, and aching for you. What a dear, sweet boy you had. What an unimaginably horrific thing you've experienced.
I hope, as time passes, that the joyful memories will cast their shadow on the darkness of this moment, and begin to obliterate it - that you will feel the sheer brilliance, gift and light of his life.... more than the loss of it. He must have been like a shooting star.... so bright, so fleeting, so memorable and beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I am without a pet. I lost both my dog and cat within a month of one another last summer. My life is a bit too topsy turvy right now to consider bringing another furry member into the family.... but.... there is a huge hole that I know can only be filled with a great dog. For some of us, they are a must, aren't they? I am so glad that he brought you such great joy, and am equally filled with great sorrow for your terrible loss.
Bless you, Kim.
xo

She has written me three or 4 times, and even shared the note she wrote when her dog died. I don’t even know where she lives, but her note was one of the first I received. How incredible that Jackson’s smile crossed so many miles, and found a place with someone I do not know.
At last count 205 people have signed up to support the cause for “Jackson’s Law”. That’s a little more than 1/5 of our initial goal.
 
                    Jackson + Life= Love x People/Jackson= More Love
Today, Jon and I are going to pack up Jackson’s 12 toys, 2 dog beds, 2 collars, and 20 shirts and sweaters and we are going to pick out stone tiles to lay upon his grave, we think 4 12x 12 squares should do it.

And we will cry. We won’t be able to count the tears.

Still, I find the smallest comfort knowing that I have learned so many things from Jackson, we have…the lessons he taught me will never leave, but he managed to do what no math teacher ever could and that was simplify. Until Jackson I never knew that “the essence of mathematics is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated things simple”….and he did just that...he made life simple proving that in the end “ the love you take is equal to the love you make” ....and that is one math equation I can figure out.
 Kim Thore, May, 2011